Does God Really Lives In Me?

Spirituality

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(Photo Credit: LaSalle Academy Ruminations)

Hey y’all,

So, I am a born-again Christian who got baptized in June 2014. This past year, starting on January 1, 2015, I have been in the Word everyday, praying most days, and overall getting really involved in church. (I started going to services on a regular basis as well). I felt that I was learning and trying to exhibit God in my daily walk. However, I failed. At least, I feel like I failed. When my life gets so rough, so tiring, I give up and don’t look back at what I have already learned. I don’t apply the concepts of  faith, love, hope, trust, forgiveness, etc. I have read and journaled about into my life. I can quote biblical inspirations and scriptures all day long. I can honestly say that I still don’t live by them. I don’t and I’m pretty sure that there is some of us that agree with this.

I honestly don’t know what it’s going to take for me to restore my Faith in Him. I just don’t know. I don’t know how to even begin repairing my relationships that were recently wrecked. Today, I don’t feel right getting into His word, praying, and journaling in my “inspirational” notebook because quite honestly, I feel like a fraud. I know that I make mistakes. I know God does not judge me for these mistakes. We are observing this week as the week that Jesus lay His life on the life for us, including me. He dies on that cross not having done anything for me. To me, this is the most beautiful Love story anyone has written. Then, three days later, He’s here forever. He has resurrected. All of our sins have been removed. If I know this, then why can’t I apply this knowledge into my life. Why can’t I forgive myself for the sins I committed and move forward. Why can’t I forgive others for the sins they have committed? I will tell you why.

I am so guilty of this. I believe that most Christians (including myself) don’t exhibit God’s true grace. His grace is about embracing others (believers and non-believers alike), sharing His Good News with everyone, and most importantly, keeping everyone in our circles uplifted. I personally failed at this. I have judged, looked into others’ past transgressions without really looking at myself. I am not of God when I do this. I am not of God when I use profanity to get my point across. I am not of God when I am deceitful. I am not of Him whenever I do evil things among anyone that I love or just come across by. (This does include flipping them off at the traffic light because he/she cut you off just moments before). A change needs to happen. I am vowing today as the day of change. I believe that these steps will not only help me but for anything who may need them.

  1. The most important thing is to admit our faults. This includes owning up to what was done on your (my) behalf.
  2. To ask God not necessarily for forgiveness but for guidance and true repentance.
  3. To pray or journal about what you would want to see in all future relationships and with your (my) future
  4. Start repairing those relationships, friendships, etc. that were wrecked due to your (my) evil thoughts and ways. Start with the ones that means the most to you (me).
  5. Start living by the words that we (I) share on social media (InstaPray, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and what we read in our bibles or other resources of our (my) choosing.
  6. Don’t be hard on yourselves (myself) because you (I) will make mistakes. We’re human. However, let’s not make the same mistakes twice or three or four times.
  7. Exhibit God’s true grace, His love, and His non-judgmental attitude towards everyone in our (my) lives.

I’m so ready to begin living my life exhibiting God in it. Will you join me in doing this? In breaking the norms of Christianity as we know it?

I want to hear your stories. I want any advice that you’ll have. I absolutely love learning from others. We are a community. We are here for each other. I am here for you.

Much Love,

Christina

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