Recently, I’ve been contemplating on beginning the dating process. I had certain men showed interest on three different occasions. All of these encounters were very pleasant but very unexpected and somewhat uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to respond to their requests of wanting to stay in contact. Something in my gut was telling me to not continue with any of them.
However, there is one that still sticks out to me. He’s kind of what I imagined my significant other to be. He is tall, very educated (has his Masters), athletic (I think he was a track star), and successful (in the IT industry). I know some of you are thinking, why did I pursue this guy? To tell the truth, he approached me while I was having my one-on-one with God in the park. I do smile and say hi to everyone that crosses my path. However, this guy just wanted to talk to me. He actually wanted to work out with me. I brushed him off and told him that I am with someone. This someone is God (growing more intimate with Him ), but I told him it was someone else because I was unsure of his motives and beliefs. Needless to say, he was very kind and walked a mile with me. The crazy part, I haven’t stop thinking about him since our encounter in the park.
I keep second-guessing myself about continuing our “don’t know what to call it” situation. Did I turn away a potential soul-mate? He’s somewhat of the man I want (smart, tall, handsome, athletic, dark chocolate-yes, dark skinned men attract me more ways that I can say). However, I don’t know about his relationship with God or even if he has a relationship with God.
“Boaz” is in this post’s title because I desire to have a man who loved a woman like his wife Ruth just for her. He didn’t try to change her. He wasn’t concerned with her outer beauty. (To my understanding, Boaz was older than Ruth. Therefore he was a bit more mature than a man in his 20’s). I also desire a man who notices my outer beauty but pursues me because of my inner beauty. I felt that each of the men who pursued me did just that and I was flattered.
After reading part of Ruth and Boaz’s story and the stories from the Modern-Day Boaz project, I concluded that my Boaz should be:
Worthy-He has an intimate relationship with God and is a person of character.
A Protector- He has respect for a woman’s mind, body, and spirit. He will not play games with her heart (telling her one thing and meaning something totally different).
A Provider- He is a hard worker and knows his biblical role-being the head of his household.
Observant-He pursues a woman because of her inner beauty (the characteristics that she exhibits in her demeanor). Also, he gets to know the “real”-likes, dislikes, pet peeves, goals, etc.
Compassionate-He serves his community. He is kind and loving. He gives generously.
Full of Integrity-He is not self-centered. He does not lie or manipulates. He learns from others (especially His elders). He respects authority.He knows wrong from right and does not make excuses for his actions.
(For more biblical insight on the story of Ruth and Boaz, read Ruth chapters 1 thru 4)
Although I have that regard of not finding out more about my guy in the park, I believe that God kept me from potentially making a mistake.
Also, with any relationship or courtship that I get into, I plan on doing it God’s way.
Last week, I attended a webinar by the Millers of Married and Young. It was very informative and overall gave me a new perspective of pursing my Boaz. They explained the five stages they followed leading to their beautiful marriage (interest, friendship, relationship, courtship, engagement-I’m unsure if these are the exact stages). However, I got what they were saying.
In conclusion of my discovery and learning, when my Boaz comes along, I plan on following these steps:
- Show interest-Stop being scared of asking a guy out. If I like him, let him know (without being pushy or too-straightforward). Be open and honest (not too honest-know boundaries)
- Become friends-Get to know each other (our likes, our dislikes, our pet peeves, our goals, our aspirations, our dreams, our relationships with God)
- Become more intimate-get closer to God together, discuss our future together, get to know our friends and families on a more intimate level. This is like the courtship stage (as I learned last week)
- Commit to each other forever-engagement, marriage, a family, unbreakable bond between us and God.
I want to follow these steps/stages, but I know that some obstacles, uncertainty, and doubt will be presented.
Before I end this post, I want each of you to remember something: The most important relationship you will ever have (most relevant to those who are followers of Christ) is with God. He is the only person truly worthy of your praise, your devotion, and your love.