In the last couple of weeks, my life has taken a sharp turn. I went from being clueless to knowing exactly what I want. I allowed myself to do some soul-searching. I allowed my mind to go crazy. I allowed myself to experience trials. I allowed myself to have fallbacks. I’m saying NO MORE.
NO MORE criticizing myself about my current predicament. NO MORE worrying about what’s to come. NO MORE focusing on what’s not my life,which in reality is awesome. I don’t have the position I want. I don’t have the car I want. I’m not living in the city. I’m not in a relationship. I have a lot of DONTS. I also have a ton of DO HAVES. I have a place to live. I have a car. I have my bank account (although I would love to see more figures in it). I have great health. I have my sanity. I have my drive. I have my optimism. I have my courage. I have my beauty. I have my soul. I have GOD.
I’m grateful for these last couple of weeks. I learned that a lot is MEANT to BE. I shared this on Facebook a few days back about being offered a position as a Aftercare Pre-K teacher. One word-Torture. I haven’t cried, snapped (got really angry and shouted), or wanted to pull my hair out so much. What looked like a great opportunity, ended up being a great lesson. I realized that I deserve the best. I realized that everything changes, period. I’m not going to lie, I am bummed about what happened. I’m upset that I couldn’t show this daycare who Christina is and what I stand for. I couldn’t teach my kiddos the way I teach my girls on Sunday (giving them the same loving and caring Ms. Christina). I can’t do any of that because of egos, power trips, favoritism, different perspectives, and different approaches to teaching and discipline.
I state it every day, It is meant for me to teach. It is meant for me to be in a classroom. It is meant for me to be in grad school. It is meant for me to pursue my Master of Education degree. It’s just MEANT to be. This following quote summarizes my urge, the passion I have for education.
Also, it is meant for me to continue with this blog-it’s mission to share my journey about becoming healthy in all areas-physically, mentally, and spiritually. Some say that when you exercise, endorphins come and you are happy. It is true to a certain extent. However, in order to experience pure joy and happiness, your mind has to be cluster-free and at a healthy state. It does not matter if I’m at the gym six times a week, on the 80/20 clean eating plan, and taking many health precautions. If my mind is not flowing properly (positive thoughts flowing throughout), then everything will be out of whack.
I am still on my journey. It just have taken some unexpected turns. There have been speed bumps, some roadblocks, and detours on this journey. I am happy nonetheless.
Everything that’s happened, that’s happening now and that will happen, it is all MEANT to BE.